If you’re seeking inner peace along with peace in your interactions with your loved one, you can achieve this by practicing Mindfulness in all your interactions. Both with your loved one and in every area of your life.
1. Inner peace is naturally found in the deepest part of you, the core of your being. This is the state our mind-body wants to be in.
Tips to get there:
- Breathe! Studies show that breathing in to a count of between 3 and 7, holding for the same count and exhaling to a count of twice that, then repeating 3 to 4 times, takes you out of the fight/ flight mechanism of the brain. This will help you quickly calm down. When you are calm you are more rational and able to respond rather than react.
- Watch a YouTube video on meditation, or go to headspace.com for a variety of meditations.
- Practice prayer, or communing with the creator of your understanding.
- Be in nature and acknowledge the intelligence that keeps our world, our bodies, nature and the entire universe thriving.
- Read inspiring books.
- Find sanctuary in your place of worship.
2. Self-care and self-awareness is crucial for being peaceful in all your affairs, but especially important when you are dealing with the challenges and chaos that Substance Use Disorder can create.
- Exercise! Moving your body gets rid of physical tension and stress and makes it easier to have a calm mind. It raises serotonin and dopamine which lead to a more positive outlook.
- Get connected with a family recovery coach or therapist who is trained in family recovery.
- Get connected with people who have already taken a deep dive into family recovery.
- Eat a balanced diet.
- Get lots of rest.
- Observe what you are seeing and experiencing with neutrality.
- Avoid sitting in judgment, anger, resentment and any other emotions that lead you to react negatively to others.
- Educate yourself in the practice of forgiveness for the purpose of your own serenity.
3. Communicate lovingly
- Always speak with a respectful and dignified tone regardless of what your loved one is doing or has done! Yes, easier said than done but vitally important to being their best chance for recovery.
- Remember that research shows that the best tool we have to influence our loved one to choose recovery is the quality of our connection with them.
- Begin all difficult conversations with a loving statement intended to soften the defensiveness and open the way for a brief factual, (i.e.: non-emotional and non-judgmental) conversation. End with words/thoughts that are connecting, such as ‘I love you’, ‘I hope your day gets better’ …and then move on to non-related topics that are neutral and lead to a sense of relatedness, rather than isolation.
- Focus most of your time, both when you’re with your loved one or alone, on thoughts and memories and hopes for the future that create connection and deepen emotional intimacy. NOT on their behavior, or substance use.
For more information on how you can be your loved one’s best chance for recovery, call (424) 203-4569 or join us every Wednesday night at 6:30 pm for family group coaching.
28955 PCH suite 200
Malibu, CA 90265