Why start with love? Love is the glue and sustenance that connects us with our loved one. Love is the key to re-connect us and melt the walls that judgement and anger have erected between us. These walls prevent us from getting into heartfelt, healing conversations. Without heartfelt healing conversations, we send our loved ones into the arms of their using buddies, their dealers and their substance of choice.
Leading with love is the only way to ignite a desire in our loved one to reconnect with us. The quality of our relationship is what determines our ability to influence any of their decisions in terms of getting sober or into recovery or sustaining it.
Love is what can keep you rooting for your loved one, despite all the traumatic things that have happened and the walls that have been built up. Out of well-meaning but misguided and outmoded family recovery models for dealing with our loved one, we are failing our loved ones. We are failing to understand what has happened to their brain and what will help get our loved ones back along with a stronger and more fulfilling family system.
It’s crucial to reconnect with love as soon as possible. To feel love for yourself and for them requires getting calm, learning to breath, looking at old photo’s of times when they were young or when you were together before the addiction took over. It’s critical to learn as much as you can about their addiction, their substance of choice and how it impacts their words, decisions and actions so that you can develop empathy and compassion for them and yourself.
You must learn to speak with a calm, gentle tone, loving eyes and an open heart despite what has transpired. Yes, it takes time and effort, but it is required if you are determined to quickly reconnect, re-bond in a healthy way and become their best chance for recovery.
When the family gets help, their loved one has a much better chance of getting and staying in recovery. The ultimate goal is sustainable recovery for the loved one and the entire family!
Call now for more information on the actions to take to help be their best chance. (424)203-4569.
Join us Wednesday nights at 6:30 in Malibu. Free of charge and open to the community.
Space provided by Alo House Recovery
28955 PCH Suite 200
Malibu, CA 90265